Brian Hornbuckle has an old photo of himself as a boy, talking—mouth wide—while cousin Keri Hornbuckle’s brother rests his chin on his fists, elbows on the table, looking exasperated.

Brian grew up in Shenandoah, in the southwest corner of Iowa, while Keri, a decade his senior, grew up 260 miles away in Cedar Rapids. Because their fathers were close, their families often saw one another at their grandparents’ home, where they’d share a meal, play croquet, and catch up on each other’s lives.